Nero7 How are you doing? This is "Eliza" I hope I will be joining, but I cannot reach you by phone, please respond ASAP time is running out.

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Why was billy bad at telling jokes? Billy was sexually abused as a child and humour was never really part of his life

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Who lived in a pineapple under the sea?

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Womens basketball

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What do you call a doctor without a head? Deceased

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who is 2 chainz? no one 2 chains is just 2 chains. spelled with an "s" not a "z"

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How do you have problems paying your monthly mortgage if you live in a box emmanuel

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David: Hey Bill. Do you know what the most common place for a Democrat to work is? Bill: No. David: An insane Asylum, so they can be with their friends and family. David: Do you know what the most common place for a black person to work is? Bill: No. David: A prison, so they can be with their friends and family. David: Do you know what the most common place for a 20th centrury undercover German Jew to work is? Bill: No. David: A morge, so they can be with their friends and family. David: Do you know what the most common place for a Scientologist to work is? Bill: No. David: With Democrats. (Writen by Ben, avid Anti-Scienctologist)

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What's better than a gold brick? 2 gold bricks.

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how many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 283,000,322,249,390

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how do you make a little girl cry?? Kill her family

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A man with glasses and a cane walks out if a clothing store and accidentally bumps into a woman, knocking his hat off "Can't you watch where you're going?" the woman asks. The man then slaps her, knocking her to the ground. He picks up his new designer fedora, and drives off in his $90,000 Cadillac. The woman, after dusting herself off, gets the guy's plates, convinces a few witnesses to testify against the man, and informs the authorities of an assault. He was later arrested for assault as well as pimping and soliciting sex. He is found guilty in a court of law and is sentenced to 2-5 years in prison, and is doled a hefty fine.

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Whats the difference between Tina Turner and dead babies? I have never fu*ked Tina Turner before.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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Uber Driver: "Hey I'm close, where are you?" Me: "oh, I see you!" Uber Driver: "Are you that guy in the middle of the road?" Me: "yeah, floor it"

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The only time when white and black are together When I've just taken a shit! ?ttis

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What's the difference between a cheeseburger and a dead baby............I don't j!zz on the cheeseburger before I eat it.

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A lonely man walks into a Self-Esteem class. He sits alone in the back because of his low self-esteem. Forever alone.

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A white man and a black woman walk into a bar, they both fell in love and lived happily together until their 25 year old son had gotten in too a car crash Luckily their son lived

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What would happen if an unstoppable object hit and unmovable object? I don't know, I was just wondering

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven

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What did the munchy alzhemiers farmer say about his missing tractor? Where's my tators?

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Your mom is so old, I am surprised she can still own a house and function on her own.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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