What did the man's ex-wife told him after their divorce? "Build a bridge and get over did" And so he did because hes a contractor that specialized in structures spanning and providing passage over a gap or barrier, such as a river or roadway

What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can A hundred dead babies in a trash can Whats worse than a hundred dead babies in a trash can A live one at the bottom Whats worse than that It eats it way out Whats worse than that It brings friends

Mom: Are you going to jump of a cliff just cause your friends are? Kid: You got married to dad cause you were the last lonely whore left of all your friends. And you wanna talk to me about peer pressure. Mom: Go jump.

*Knock knock* Who's there? No one answers so the man opens the door and gets stabbed 7 times in the chest

Yo mama so dirty when she takes baths there are rings.

what did the dead guy say to the boy? nothing he is dead.

I was in the 74th hunger games I hid in the cornucopia until almost everyone was dead. Then I saw Katniss and Peeta so while they were distracted with night lock I pulled a rubber chicken out of my ass and beat the shit out of them till they died then I won the 75th hunger game also. They asked me to be there mocking jay but I killed them all and blew the plane up in the Capitol the end. By Adam Chebali

Did you here about the man who dropped a glass? It broke.

What do you call a monkey lost in a desert? A donkey who was forgotten by his owner.

I was on Facebook today. Opened someones wall. Read "LIKE if you know someone that needs to be smacked in the face with a shovel." So I liked it and wrote my exboyfriend's name.......

What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja

Your mom is so ugly, she suffers from severe depression and regularly contemplates suicide.

If a blonde and a feather were dropped off of a building at the same time, which would hit the ground first? A feather is a light object and would most likely float all the way down at a slow velocity, the blonde is most likely 100+ pounds and would die because she is stupid.

what is big round and fat? Your MOM

How many apples come from trees? None, not a single one of em'

a guy walked into a bar, ordered a drink, sipped it slowly thinking of his waisted youth. then he finished his drink and went home to his wife of 34 years

whats the diffrence between madeline macan and a submarine? there isnt one there both at the bottom of the sea and full of seaman

What did the duck with one leg say to the pirate? Woof.

What's up? Well it all depends on your current position, if you are in the center of the Earth then everything would be up. In space there is no gravity so nothing is up. If you don't understand this the sky is up.

What did hitler said to the chinese? Thank you for continuing my legacy.

Why was everyone afraid of Nick Morton? Because he had AIDS

Where did Adolf go as a vacation after the war? Hell

what do u call a fat guy in a pool u

A man said lol, I said lol back. Then he started to beat me up for repeating his phrase!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...