Your momma is soooo poor... I don't know how she is so fat

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Q: Who followed E.T.A Hoffman? A: ASAP Rocky. (ETA and ASAP are both time-based abbreviations, ETA meaning 'estimated time of arrival' and ASAP meaning 'as soon as possible'. Thus, ASAP can form a response to a requested ETA. Additional humour comes from the dissonant occupations of the two individuals: E.T.A Hoffman being a nineteenth century gothic author, and ASAP Rocky being a modern rapper.)

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Why did the horse insult the postage stamp? He didn't. Horses can not speak English nor can anything verbally or physically critique a postage stamp and make it feel any emotional distress.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 20 years later he would gamble away his life savings and then go onto live a lonely and unfulfilled life.

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(kid is eating a round fruit) friend: Get me an apple too. Kid: I wish I could The kids friend later realizes that his friend was actually eating a peach.

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Where did Sally go when the bomb went off? Everywhere.

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You spent your time reading this and realized there was no joke.

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Why the monkey fall out the tree? Cause he was dead!

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What do you call black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist bastard

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Why did George shaw fall off the swin?. Because he got a bowl thrown at his head

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My girlfriend is getting an abortion tonight. Its a surprise.

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What does an elephant and a plum have in common? They are both purple... except for the elephant

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Why is Justin Bieber gay? Justin is attracted to the female gender

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Stop with the 9/11 jokes guys. They're just plane stupid.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Why is the black guy afraid of the white guy? He's not, it's the other way around.

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whats the best joke ever? womens rights

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What's worse than hitting your thumb with a hammer? Getting your spine ripped off

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse begins bucking wildly, injuring three patrons before breaking through the front door.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

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XD Jackass.

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If God gives you lemons you find a new God

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Whats bigger than a tree A bigger tree

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roak

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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