Your Momma is sooooo poor, she struggles day by day to feed you and your 8 siblings while keeping a roof over your head.

What happened when the ugly girl asked her crush out on a date? He said yes. He found her personality quite attractive

The once was a little girl named Suzy who liked swings; the only trouble was that she had no arms. In order to avoid having any jokes written (and recycled thousands of times) about this fact, she decided to run a sponsored marathon in order to pay for prosthetic arms. Suzy swung happily for the rest of her days. [L]

Why did the moose cross the road? Migration.

three white men are running after a black man,, the black man is winning the race

A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

Question: why did the pilot crash the plane? Answer: because the pilot was a loaf of bread

A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The horse said nothing because it doesn't understand human language.

An owl and a squirrel where siting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl then turned to the squirrel and said nothing... cos owls can't talk. The owl then eats the bird because it is a bird of prey

Two tomatoes are crossing the road. Suddenly one of them gets hit by a car. He goes "AGH!"

A wanted man walks into a bar. The police come and take him to jail.

How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker got for Christmas? He's his dad. He bought the presents.

How does he keep getting girls to sleep with him? Bear-traps..

Cancer.

Why did little nancy call the police? Because her dad beats her toaster up.

Q: What do you call a gay man in a... A: Keith.

who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Osama Bin Laden

Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

I don't have ADHD I just- Hey look a squirrel!

How does a Welshman take a shit? Like anyone other human being does.

There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other, "how do we drive this thing?"

Why some people don't get the flu twice? Because they died!

Adam Sandler is still funny ! *cough*

Why did the man yell? Cause he wanted to!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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