Facebook How i met my mother

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Two fish are sitting in a tank. One says, "I'll man the guns. You drive."

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Why was the little boy cold? Cause he was traped In a fridge

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was gonna write a really funny "anti-joke" about two dogs and some spagetti but decided instead to tell you about how hard my life is and how much i hate getting up in the morning and just keep you wondering about the spaggetti and the dogs while i kill myself and it all a sudden makes sense as the two dogs are eating my shattered brain that looks like spaggetti wich leaves me wondering , am i spelling spaggetti right?

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Roses are red Violets are red Jimmy is red Sally is red Susie is red Jimmy is red Billy is red Carl is red Jose is red Jerry is red Ferdinand is red Everyone is red Because they all just got shot In the head And now they're dead

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if you spell clever backwards you get a mixture of letters that don't make sense

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Ask me if I'm Abraham Lincoln. Are you Abraham Lincoln? No.

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A dog walks into a bar. It was a bar in Taiwan, so they killed it and ate it.

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Why couldn't Matilda walk to school? Because a dog ripped her legs off.

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Q: what's red, green and goes over 100 miles per hour? A: a frog in a blender

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a cow walked into a bar and asked for a large whiskey on the rocks, 'long day, eh' said the barman, 'yes' replied the cow, 'first a large moving obstical was cutting down my food, and then my friend was raped from his milk.'

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what is 1 plus 1 i don't know ask your teacher

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? The one at the bottom is dead. What's worse that that? It's eating it's way out. What's worse than that? It made it. What's worse than that? It went back in for 2nd's.

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What is similar between the Holocaust and soccer? They both suck.

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Hey, have you heard the one about the elf and the watermelon? Neither have I.

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An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman come across a magic slide. They each decide to take a turn. The Irishman goes first, sliding down and shouting "GOLD!", and finding himself in a pile of gold as he reaches the bottom. The Englishman slides down screaming "SILVER!", and lands in a heap of silver at the bottom. The Scotsman takes his turn, and shouts "WEEEE!" as he slides down. He gets up and realises what a needless waste of a wish his enjoyment cost him.

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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Why did a mass amount of people move to Florida? They came to murder their children and get away with it.

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why doesn't anyone like reed? who cares, no one likes reed

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Why was the Black person afraid of the chainsaw? Be cause it goes run nigga nigga run nigga nigga run

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to KFC and join his chicken friends to protest.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it has a serious crack addiction and there was a drug dealer on the other side.

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What do you call Batman with a knife in his chest? Dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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