What do you call a lump on your penis? STD

what do you call a prostitute with AIDS? Most likely her first name, unless of course you know her and it is normal for you to refer to her by a nickname or some shorter version of her proper first name.

Velcro. What a rip off.

You know what really pisses me off? When I drink too much coffee.

A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

how do you know when an elephant been in your refridgrator The door wont close

a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

A man walks into his house to see his TV is moving. He notices a black man who starts running when he enters. He then calls the police and gives a description of the man. The robber gets placed under arrest.

whats the difference between ur mom and my mom? nothing i slept with both of them

whats black and yellow a chinese with a bruise

Why did the Girl fall of the swing? She had no arms Knock Knock Who's There? Not That Girl

Why didn't the Jew laugh at the joke concerning his familial genealogy in relation to WW2? He had orofacial paralysis and was therefore physically incapable of expressing joy through the means of his mouth

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimers, Cheese in toast,

If I fly my canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, then how many lollipops does Obama have? None, because dogs can't use flashlights.

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Dave. -Dave who? -Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

A man and his friend go hunting,one falls in a hole and appears dead. The friend calls 911 and asks what to do, the operator says ok first we need to make sure he's dead. The friend checks his pulse and finds out he is living, then an ambulance is sent and the hunter lives with minor injuries.

John Cena for president

What happened to the little boy who threw a spitball at the teacher? He was killed the next day when the teacher, who had a history of mental instability and schizophrenia, decided to go on a shooting rampage in class.

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Impossible, non-living organisms are incapable of moving and babies lack the brain capacity to understand how to screw in a light bulb.

Whats hard and long? An erect penile shaft.

Why did Humpty Dumpty fall off the wall? The wall was unstable and not to be sat on.

U mad?

A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says "why the long face?" The horse replies, "I am Sarah Jessica Parker."

Why did the kid with no legs fall down the stairs? Because his dad pushed him...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...