Feeling alone fast after opening your mouth? Feel that people ignore your conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say AHAH!... And Uhuh, and I PERFECTLY UNDERSTAND! Now YOU CAN BE APPRECIATED INSTANTLY BY A BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE SAYING!

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Three guys went barhopping. One slipped and broke his dick.

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Batman vs Superman the movie spoilers: Batman and Superman argue over how to handle some alien invaders, Batman wants to kill em, Superman believes he can save em. In the end they work together and save everybody. Moral: I hope they change the script, ever noticed how every hero vs hero themed movie/cartoon, ends up with them allying at the end? If ya do not believe me, just wait for the movie to come out.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Q.What do you call a friend with benefits? A. a buck fuddy.

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roses are red violets are blue i just made you remember two girls one cup

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A priest, a rabbi and a scientologist walk into a bar. They discuss their various religious viewpoints until the scientologist gets a call informing him of his mother's death. The priest buys him a drink. Then the priest gets a call informing him of his mothers death. The rabbi buys him a drink. The rabbi gets a call. The scientologist expects it to be about the rabbi's mother dying, so he prematurely buys him a drink. It was actually the lottery commission telling the rabbi he won 48 million dollars.

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Why did the teenager commit suicide? Because he was constantly being bullied in school, which caused him to be depressed. Days later he found out that his mother had breast cancer and was most likely not going to survive.

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Why was the dog hairless? I lied, it was a pig.

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Why is that chicken crossing the ro-..... oh, woops, he got run over by that truck...

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How many black people does it take to change a light bulb? one, its a fairly easy task

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Why are butt pirates butt pirates? Because they just ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR FRUITS

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Your mama's p*ssy is so stank, she should probably consult her physician as she may have an easily treatable infection.

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Why are Pine trees green? Because light reflects at different wavelengths, and the chlorophyll, found in chloroplasts, being abundant in the needles of pine trees, Reflect the correct wavelength for green.

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Whats he difference between a rock and a dead baby? I'm not spemding the rest of my natural life in an insane asylum for eating a rock!

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Roses are shitty Violets are bitches I'm fat.

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What can hitler cook well Steak

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What is brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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Bark I'm a tree

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A program that creates "pointless inventions" and posts them at the wrong sections.

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Q: How do you kill a Brazilian Blind Electric Ray? A: Killing endangered species is a crime.

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I have tuberculosis because Ebola is too mainstream.

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What did the muffin say to the cup cake? nothing, muffins can't talk, and cup cakes can't hear.

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Q. How many infants does it take to paint a wall? A. Depends how hard you throw them...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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