People...

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Harry Potter: Hey voldemort, you wanna go get our noses pierced?? Voldemort: I killed your parents.

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Why did the frog die? He had AIDS

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Q: What would you do if i pushed you down the stairs A: I would suffer from serious head injuries thus filling you with guilt for performing such a deed.

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what has two legs and is red all over a fireman doing his job

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What do you get if you have a bundle of children's clothing, some moisturising cream, a gas mask, a lollipop, more candy and a bag? A disguise.

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How do you stop a canadian from saying eh? Kill it...

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There are only three kinds of math teachers: teachers that can count and teachers that can't count

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Roses are red Violets are too I am color blind How about you

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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knock knock Get off my porch I've already called the police.

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What's big, white, and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator

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Q: How is a cloud like orange juice? A: Neither have wheels.

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Q. What happened to the kid with 1 arm and 1 leg and 1 arm and 1 leg A. He had a seisure, then got hit by a bus

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Why did the baby die, because he got herpes, so did his mother, there both dead now.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He decided to sail to Portland. He cast off and was never seen again.

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what is more funny than watching a baby fly in a circle at 100 mph stopping it with a shovel

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what is the difference between a black person and a little boy with autism .... the boy with autism is smarter with more education than the black person

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What do you call a black man riding a plane? A black man riding a plane.

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how do u get to your favorite chinese restaurant? wok.

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Q: What happens when you sit in the middle of the road? A: You get hit by a car and die a horrible death as your family members mourn in the loss and remain sad forever.

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Chuck Norris doesnt need air to live, Air needs chuck Norris to live. Actaully that statment is a fallacy because it would be fatal to not breathe

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Why did the hipster burn his tongue? The tea he was drinking was at an unsuitable temperature for consumption resulting in the scalding of his mouth.

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Why didn't Johnny get into college? Because Johnny is retarded.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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