What did hitler say to the bartender? Nothing he's dead.

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hey i jut met u, and i have alzeihmer, cheese and toast

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How old is your mom Dead

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42

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What's the difference between a car and a sack of dead babies? I don't keep a car in my garage.

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A gay man walks out of his bedroom, rubbing his ass in pain. He says, "I hate it when I slip and fall in the shower."

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Is your refrigerator running? no then your food is probably beginning to rot

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? That would depend on the individual situation at hand and to assume you could accurately estimate that is ridiculous.

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Random link time! http://www.booksie.com/thrillers/novel/declan_mckimm/pure-evil

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what did little johnny scream at the xbox after he lost a game? god what the hell! Muskcrat143 i told u to cover my back when i had my predator missile! now my covers blown and i lost my killstreak! god u suck so much and Hippo099 why didn't u kill them before they got a killstreak like wtf!!! i told u to use ur semtex cause i had a claymore set down jeez u guys suck i'm leaving.

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Why did the blonde go to business school? She wanted to get into business, and decided that a business degree was a good place to begin.

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A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

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Q: What do you call a guy that is smart? A: A SMART Guy.

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Why did chuck Norris take his friends to the buffet? Because buffets are great social conventions due to the allowance of sharing social favors while grabbing a succulent meal. Visit golden corral today.

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What happened to the man who bought his son a birthday gift? He eventually was robbed and shot in the face

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womens rights.

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what do you call postman pat after he's retired? Pat.

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What is the difference between a circle and a cylinder? dunno

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Dimes are silver Pennies are brass Why does your face look like an a**

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When life gives you lemons you mix them with vinegar to make a drink that will help your high blood pressure.

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A street performer was sitting on a curb playing guitar when a black man walked up and put some money in the guitar case. The street performer nodded in appreciation of the man's donation and continued to play his instrument.

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Q. What did the black lawyer say to the rabbi? A. We're both highly educated professionals.

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why can't James swim at 2010 summer ? because james died at 2009

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What happens if you play CS:GO? Well you loose alot of fucking money.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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