can the real slim shady please stand up? no. there is a slim shady in all of us, so we will all stand up.

Wait what? What if you use the what what? Sorry I am still like super hypnotic trippy, dont worry though, I dont want it to end.

*Brother comes downstairs wet and naked* Mom: Did you enjoy your shower?

How do you make a Child cry? Slaughter his dog and feed it to him convincing him its Chili

What is worse than seeing a pile of dead minorities? Dropping a dollar.

How does camon Die? He kills himself because he didnt make it into the marine corps

You will not press the like button.

when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

You know what helps with back pain? If you lick my butt hole.

What do you call Bilbo Baggins when you use him for pleasure? Dildo Baggins

How many dead babies does it take to paint a room? This is impossible as dead babies are incapable of achieving such a feat.

What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? Give her a time-out. Throwing sharp objects is not okay.

What did Iran say to Israel? ALLLLAHH

How do you circumsize a redneck? Kick his sister in the jaw.

On a scale of 1 to Lord Voldemort, how awkward would you say your hugs are?

What happened when man put a dog in the blender? He got arrested for Animal abuse

If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think liked dolphins the most? I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong, though. It's Hambone.

A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

girls basketball

What do you get when lettuce and oranges come together? I dont know, thats why I asked you.

What did the slave say to its master? Nothing meanwhile he and his family had terminal cancer and were worked without pay for 20 years before dying fro, multiple cases of AIDS and infections within thier lungs and mouths.

What did the pencil say to the pen? Nothing.

Why was six afraid of seven? because seven has cold, dead eyes.

My Grandma has Alzheimers and always repeats what she says. My Grandma has Alzheimers and always repeats what she says. (Submitted by Aidan)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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