The man says to the doctor "Sir, I have contracted a terrible headache." The doctor replies back, "Yes you do."

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Why did Charlie eat a baked potato? Because he was hungry.

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Why did the dog bark? Because he wanted to.

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My dads so gay he has sex with other men for fun.

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What did one dinosaure say to the other? Nothin, they are all dead. XD

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Why was the boy crying? Because his dad comes home drunk every night and beats him.

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How do you get rid of a pile of dead babies? Call 911 so someone will pick them up and take them to the morgue.

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Why did Sally cross the road? Because she fell off a tree. Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally wanted to cross the road.

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I told my wife she was like a fine wine She asked if it was because she improves with age. I told her yes All was well.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gang rape.

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what's the last thing you want to hear during surgery? your wife complaining

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Whats funnier than 24, 69

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How is a frog similar to a corn dog? They both have really long tongues, except for the corn dog

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Oh s***

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Whats the best thing about chuck norris? he's chuck norris.

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What did the man say when he saw an orange? That's not a banana.

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Why did the 6 year old girl go to therapy? Because her step dad raped her.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Roses are red Violets are....

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Why do black people have white hands and feet? Regardless of race or ethnicity, the skin on the palms and soles of the feet is always less pigmented than elsewhere on the body. In darker skinned people this fact is readily observable, but in light skinned people this feature of human biology cannot normally be discerned by simple visual inspection.

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So heres a scenario. You and your twin brother are Siamese twins. You are straight and your brother is gay. Your bother has a friend come over. You only have one butt....

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Scenario: A man is being mugged in an alley Mugger: Give me your wallet! I have a gun! Victim: You don't have the balls. Mugger: Oh yeah! I have 3 balls! Victim: Well I have 2, you should probably get that checked.

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Q: Why was the man upset? A: He was kidnapped. Two cruel men tied him to a chair in an unknown location. This man was mistaken for someone who was planning to steal a big drug shipment. They beat him unmerciful, shocked him, and hit him in the head with a hammer, and threw him out in the street, with the belief of his death occurring. A driver stopped to help the man into the nearby hospital. The man was questioned about the physical appearance and whereabouts of these criminals. He remembered nothing, and sadly, they got away with this horrible crime.

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How Many Blondes does it take to open a fridge. 1 Because most blondes are smart and can open fridges.

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What is the differnce between a baby and a watermelon??? One is fun to smash and one is a watermelon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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