What the difference between Adolf Hitler and Michael Phelps? Micheal Phelps can finish a race.

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What happens when three blind mice go our looking for food? They die because of the mouse traps the owners have because they are tired of loosing food to the mice.

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Why did danielle drop her ice cream cone? Because she was diabetic and had a blood sugar of 5.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained.

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When Miley Cyrus sticks out her tongue, people usually are there to take a photograph.

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That moment when you try and finger your girlfriend and there no hole......and you start questioning your sexuality

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A retarded man speaks jibberish, because he is retarded

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How do you prevent a baby from crawling all over the place? You nail his hands to the floor

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PLEASE LIKE TO DONATE 50 CENTS TO MY CHARIDY .... SAVE THE PENGUINS IN AFRICA -BY LUKE BRANIFF

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put my dick in your ass

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[Insert dumb, last minute anti-joke here]

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Tip for Employers: Avoid hiring unlucky people by immediately tossing half the resumes into the bin.

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What do you call a black man walking on the side of a road? A Pedestrian

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What do you get if you have a bundle of children's clothing, some moisturising cream, a gas mask, a lollipop, more candy and a bag? A disguise.

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Nuclear Bombs are bad. But erections are good.......as long as they are stroked

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Why did little Johnny fall off his swing? He had no arms.

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What did the man say to the woman? get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich.

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What's dried up and smells like potatoes? Potato ships and school french fries.

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What happened when the man was about to hug the sexiest person he ever saw in his life? He hit the mirror.

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What did the alcoholic say to his priest? I'm Drunk. The priest says "Your drunk go home". He barely makes it.

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Why did the little girl drop her school books? A kid jacked her in the head with a brick.

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What's brown and green, has six legs and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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why did simran go to jessicas house? To go have a human taco

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops