How many elephants can you fit in a car? depends how big the car is!

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone dropped a refrigerator on her. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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A blind man walks into a bar. I mean a fence.

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What's green and looks like a red apple? A green apple

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It couldn't. Before it could cross, it was killed and then consumed by an average American

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How do you kill a blonde? Cut off the bloodflow to their vital organs.

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Haikus are awesome, but sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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What did the Nazi put into the oven? Bread.

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How many average men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Q. What did the atheist ask the pregnant woman? A. You gonna eat that?

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A man works at a brick factory. He is told by his boss that if he is to steal any brick from the factory, he will be sacked. But every day the man steals one brick and puts it in his lunch box to take home and is not caught. One day he has enough bricks to build a house, and he says "When I build this house there will be none left over". The house is now built and while the man is taking a look around he stubs his toe on something, he looks down to see a brick and he sighs, picks up the brick and throws it in the air. There are two pilots driving a plane, one has a dog and one has a wardrobe. One pilot says to the other "I don't particularly like dogs" then the other pilot says to him "I don't really like wardrobes". They then make an agreement and throw both the wardrobe and the dog out the window. Five minutes later one pilot looks out the window out onto the plane wing, and guess what he sees? A brick.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody cause your a loser.

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While I was walking home from school one day, James Brown jumped out of a bush and punched me in the face. Then, when I got home, there was a walrus sitting on my couch. He then turned to look at me and said, "Penis". I then immediately farted out blades of grass.

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What's the difference between Hitler and Stalin? Nothing because pineapples aren't vegetables.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He orders a lemonade and leaves promptly

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Why was the man thought to be peculiar? Because he had sex with a pistachio.

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Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they're ugly and they stink.

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What was the pirate's favorite letter W

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What the small boy with no arms or legs get fro christmas???? cancer

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Why did Paul Walker cross the road? He wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

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roses are red violets are blue your sister is pretty what happend to u??

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

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What's up brah brah

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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