roses are red violets are blue i have a big dick unlike you

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Q. what do you call a black guy? A. N IGGER

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What did the boy with no social skills say to the bully? I KNOW U ARE BUT WHAT AM I

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What did hitler say to the bartender? Nothing he's dead.

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How many anti-jokes does it take to change a light bulb? Since anti-jokes are not concrete objects, any change would have to occur metaphorically or abstractly. The number of anti-jokes required would then be irrelevant.

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Why did the duck eat the chicken noodle soup? The duck was told that if he ate the chicken noodle soup on Fear Factor he would win $10,000. What he failed to realize was that he forgot to sign page 16 on the episode contract and did not win any money and was sued by Campbell's soup for copyright infringement.

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Me: You know what's funnier than 24. Friend: 25? Me: No, 9/11

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full house

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There was Jew, a black guy, an Asian guy, and a Mexican guy at the store. The store was called Walmart.

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A teenage girl walks into a dark alley. She emerges on the other side completely unharmed.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? His health was dwindling ever since he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer several years ago and this looked like the end.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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,try this on a girl, say "can I pop your cherry.........soda bottle cap off your cherry soda bottle?"

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what did the wall say to the floor? nothing interior structure supports do not talk

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Why did the man follow the law? He didn't want to get arrested

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Onions are like loved ones... They are both nouns. And you cry when you cut into them.

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Two men walk into a bar. You think the second man would have seen it.

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Why did the blonde laugh at the funeral? She suffers from autism, and doesn't understand when it isn't appropriate to laugh. The mourners at the funeral, understanding this problem, ignored her and carried on with the service.

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Who could be happier than a kid at a candyshop? A necrophiliac in a morgue

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. (do you get it cause the robot has no arms)

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When life gives you lemons, thank life for its generosity.

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Knock knock Who's there? I eat myp.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I told you she was my Mom, but that didn't stop you!

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What do you call cheese that is not yours? The fact that you do not own the cheese doesnt change its name

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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