What's the difference between a baby and a sandwich? A sandwich doesn't scream when I put my salami in it.

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Do you like cats? You gotta be kitten me.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he was to busy watching porn. And then was hit by a truck.

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What is 0% sugar, 100% pure, 150% hyperbole, 90% bug-free, has 4815162342 lines of code, autonomous, is awesome, bigger than a breadbox, bread is pain, is bringin' home the bacon, classy, doesn't use the U-word, deja vu, deja vu (oh wait a moment), does barrel rolls doesn't avoid double negatives, doesn't bother with clones, Engage!, Enhanced!, Euclidean!, Excitement!, Exploding creepers, Finally complete!, finger-licking, full of stars, funky LOL, GOTY, Give Us Gordon, Indev, Ingots, and has an End? Minecraft!

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why am i a dick head. because my gcse's spelt fudge and i dont like fudge so i project my anger into boss things

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yes... that's the joke

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What do you get when you cross sodium citrate, citric acid, benzyl alcohol, monoethanolamine, sodium benzoate, gylcol disterate, FD&C Yellow #5, ammonium lauryl sulfate, methylisothiazolinone, fragrances/perfumes, FD&C Blue #1, sodium chloride, zinc pyrithione, methylchloroisothiazolinone, ammonium xylenesulfonate, ammonium laureth sulfate, cetyl alcohol, cocamide, guar hydropropyltrimonium chloride, 1-Decene, homopolymer, hydrogenated, trimethylolpropane tricaprylate and water? Head & Shoulders Dandruff Shampoo for Fine-Oily Hair

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Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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Why was Chris crying? There was a robbery at his house and both of his parents were brutally murdered.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? Everything.

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So what makes you that much adaptable? I get the feeling I should get this by now.

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Q. What happened first The Tree or The Apple. A. Johny Appleseed.

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How does the cow say cash i dont know ask him he is the cow.

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What's utter destruction but still has wheels? A car that was crushed at a junk yard, after the Bridgestone tires were removed for another car that could still use them

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How do you keep black people from hanging around in your front yard? Hang them in the back..

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What did the T-rex say to the elephant? i like bananas

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Hey, I'm Schrödinger, and this is crazy! But here's a sealed box... the cat lives, maybe...

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How do you kill a blond? Put a scratch and sniff card at the bottom of a pool.

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What srtarts with "P" and ends in "orn"? Popcorn

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Your dads dead. lol

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womens rights

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a dog ate my homework but then he returned it on the lawn

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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25

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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