What do you call a sandwich that has sandwich on it? A sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Michael Jackson? Spelling.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what do you call a black man flying a plane?? a pilot ,you racist!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the little boy cry regularly? Because his father was sexually abusive.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

what hurts more than a stab wound? two stab wounds

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Little Johnny asks his teacher "What's 23 times 3?" She yelled, "Be quiet, Johnny, and grow up!"

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange Who? Oranges are very good for you and enriched with vitamin C that is apparently good to intake when you are experiencing cold/flu like symptoms during the winter season and your doctor won't give you medication because you aren't sick enough and you already ask for medication to much because you think you are always sick with something. That's what happens when you're a hypochondriac.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you call a dumb blonde with no hair? You don't, since there is no way of knowing that she is blonde.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A hitman and his target walked in the same bar togather what happend? nothing because a hitman has better things to do and the target would lay low.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

knock knock. Who's there? The delivery man.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How do you wake up a black man? Punch him in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

whats fluffy and pink? -pink fluff whats blue and fluffy? -pink fluff holding its breath.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

how do you fit 100 babies in a bowl? with a blender. how do you get them back out of the bowl? with tortila chips.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why was the boy in hospital? He fell off the bus and was run over by many cars.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

It's that time of the month again... ...to cut my toenails.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did he have to die so young? It just isn't fair... In all considerations, the bullet didn't ask to become embedded in his skull either.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the boy laugh? Because someone told him a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why is a jewish man so tall? Genetics

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's worse than seeing 5 dead babies on the side of the road? Realizing slavery is banned after buying a perfectly good young black male for a reasonable price at your local walmart.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Adam: knock knock!! Eve: who's there? Adam: don't be silly, just open the f*cking door!!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops