what do you call a 19th century steam train driver ? i dont know , depends what his mother named him

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A little boy ran to the pool to see how long he could hold his breath. He slipped and fractured his skull.

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you are a åsshole :)

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Q: Why is the Universe so big? A: Because it is the same size as my penis.

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Why didn't the Orphan finish his lemonade. His legs got chopped off.

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A blonde girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says. "Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear. "I said 'I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW AFTERNOON TO PICK UP MY DRESS'," says the girl, this time louder.

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Knock knock.. Whos there? To... To who? To whom.

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Man 1: Ask me if I'm a tree. Man2: Are you a tree? Man1: no.

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What rude names do you call a girl with no limbs? Anything you want they can't touch you

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Whats green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? A girl scout that got hit by a car

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Dylan is gay

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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Why was the fat guy sad? his daughter is slowly dying of anorexia why was the fat guy sad? his daughter was raped by a giant panda bear

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I couldn't afford a hair cut... So i contracted cancer.

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Your mommas so fat, that she's really big.

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What did Chuck Norris say when he saw a cop -Hi

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What has four legs and starts with the letter D? A cow.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: Anal

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I what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? I don't have 10 watermelons in my basement.

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Q. Knock knock A. Who's there Q. DEEZ A. DEEZ who A. DEEZ NUTZ HA GOT EEEEEM

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What's green , has 4 legs and if it fell out of tree on you , would hurt you ? A Pool table

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What's worse than opening your pantry door and finding nothing desirable to eat? Repeated high voltage electrical shocks to the anus.

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Not at all Nero, if humanity itself where better, you would never have had that pain you rather than carry seems to be stuck to you, what you call your armor, sounds more like a cage to me, it is no wonder that you lose faith in those that drag you down while you find peace and hope within yourself by helping them. I believe you got every right to lose hope in humanity at times, in my eyes you have always been much greater than them, you just seem to believe that if you fail at helping others, then you have failed yourself, remember that there are too many people that surrender in this world, that do not want to be helped back on their own feet rather than to be "shown the only way", you said it yourself, monkey see, monkey do is easy, too easy, and you never take the easy way. I am sorry if I copy your methods too much, it might seem to others as if you are chatting with yourself, which is just crazy, insane. silly, lets just say again that you just got a admirer in me, it cant be helped. Does this bother you?

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How do you know that someone is polish ? They smell funny

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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