"Hey guys lets have a standing obviation." No one else stands....

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What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Unless it's muscular dystrophy.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick!

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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A man walks into a bar what does he say Ouch

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Bill: Whats 2 + 2? Joe: Your mom

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A man on crutches walked across the road. Suddenly he fell and sprained his foot. He was pleased that he was carrying crutches.

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How do you fit 100 jews in a car? It wouldn't work.. Nevermind.

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What happened to the guy who got bullied? He commited suicide.

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea. That would depend on what time you are reading this. As i have no control over this, I am unable to inform you of China's current time. Perhaps you should look into a watch, world clock, or some other device capable of telling the time. That is not the Purpose of this website. However, there are numerous other places for this. God luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can, and only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? he was epileptic

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, how many does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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knock knock piss off

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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Where was Andy Beckett WHEN THE LIGHTS WENT OUT? In the dark

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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why did the boy named rylie white get aids Because he had unprotected sex with someone with aids.

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If you play a Justin Bieber album backwards, I swear you can hear satanic messages... but even worse, if you play it forward, you hear Justin Bieber.

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What's Chris Benoit up to? Just hangin' with his family

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra!

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Men don't cum twice easily. That's why Jesus hasn't been around for awhile.

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What did one child say to the other child? We both are kids.

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What did the mother get her blonde daughter for her birthday? A flower on her tombstone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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