If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is around, does anyone really care?

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I went to the doctors the other day for a check up and the doctors says to me "sorry your going to have to stop wanking" and I say to him " what! Why?" and the doctor says "I'm trying to examine you".

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Why did the man die? He got shot!

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Have you heard about the Polish kamikaze pilot? No, you haven't, because it would be historically and culturally incorrect.

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girls lacrosse

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whats worse than being late to school haveing your family killed by an angry peice of toast

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There once was a man from Nantucket But then he moved to Boston and changes his name to "man from Boston"

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Whats an Anti Joke

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have Dementia Pickles

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What did the soldier say when he got shot in the face? Nothing, he died.

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Your momma's so stupid that she was declared mentally retarded by her doctors.

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A baby seal walks into a club.... Oh....

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She said no

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What is invisible and smells like carrots? The smell of Carrots. Pretty sure you can't see smells.

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A man walks into a bar, drinks a few beers, then calls a taxi to take him home because he knew the risks of drunk driving.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house... Knock knock Who's there? The Chincken

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how many babies does it take to paint a house? that is child labor, which is illegal in many countries.

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Uh, summa lumma dooma lumma you assuming I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is Ricochet in off a me and it'll glue to you And I'm devastating more than ever demonstrating How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating Never fading, and I know that haters are forever waiting For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating 'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

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Can a man reproduce with only one testicle? No because girls don't dig that sh*t

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Whats worse than an offended chicken walking around with a squirrel stapled to its back? A crusty old man with hepatitis peeing on 10 babies.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Ze Gestapo!

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4 people: A pilot, Bill Gates, the Pope, and a little kid, are all on an airplane with only 3 parachutes, when the plane's engine explodes and starts to go down. But the pilot makes an emergency landing at a nearby airport and everybody is okay.

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"jrfevkhbgjk" said the retard.

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What is the difference between your mom and a cow? One is a 1,500 pound beast, and one is a human being.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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