What did the soldier say when he got shot in the face? Nothing, he died.

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What did Anne Frank do this weekend? Nothing. she died in the holocaust.

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What is not a crocodile? The teenage mutant ninja turtles

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what did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur nothing dinosaurs can't talk

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Why did the car stop. someone threw a cow at it.

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A man walks into a bar and walks up to the counter. The bartender looks the man up and down and asks "Can I help you?" "Ya, get this guy off my ass" the duck promptly replies.

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A king's son's birthday came one day and the king asked what he wanted. "You can have anything in the world son." He would say. The prince answered,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." So for his birthday he got a rollar costar, a new car, a water park, a castle, and of corse some purple ping pong balls. The same answer went out of his mouth for three years. One day the prince was driving in his car, and he got into a terrible car accadent. And while he was in the ER and saying his last words, his father asked,"Son, before you die, i must know, why did you want purple ping pong balls for your all of those birthdays?" And the prince said,"Well I wanted them because-" and then he died.

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Why did the man try to lick his elbow? Because he read a chain email saying no one could lick their elbow and he wanted to see if it was true. You will probably try to do it now too.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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Every sixty seconds in Africa... a minute passes - plz like to save Africa!

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I had my period 3 days ago.

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Why was the baby crying? Because you repeatly hit it in the face with a brick, you sick freak.

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What's black and white and red all over? A mime lying in a pool of blood.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Two holocausts What's worse than two holocausts? Twilight

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Why did a boy drop his ice cream? The Holocaust.

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How do you drown a blonde? Tie a cinderblock to her foot and throw her in water.

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How do you stop moles from digging in your garden? Take the shuvel away.

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The BCS

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How did the blind man know when to open his parachute when he went skydiving? The leash went slack.

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Why does Polly want a cracker? Because meth is too intense.

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a duck walks into a bar. he sits by another duck and says duck 1: Quack!! duck 2: I was just about to say that! duck 1: No way! duck 2: Seriously! duck 1: We are so a-like. duck 2: totally!

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Q - What do you call a hamburger without pickles? A - You call it a hamburger just without the pickles.

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"Spell 'horse'" "H-O-U-Z-E" "No, that's incorrect. You failed the spelling test, you stupid fool."

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1 pack of bacon 2 fat guys. They both die fighting over it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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