Your Mom.

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How do you get a clown of a swing? Hit it with an ax.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it can do whatever the hell it wants

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My phone rang. So I answered it.

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What just hit my face? The floor

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Did I tell you about the day I put PaulMckenna on a hypnotic state so he believed he put me in a trance? That was fun, everybody applauded, then he got sad when it was not him they where applauding at, funny guy, a bit of an amateur, he spends hours "priming" people in a hypnotic state, and then in his videos triggers it so it makes it seem like he does it instantly, next to Igor Ledohowsky and Richard Bandler, I might just be one of the best and youngest hypnotists alive. Speaking of which, my wife knows the complicated yet strong feelings I got for you, and feels safe around me because of the same reasons you do, and the fact that I can spot a worry and a tear before people do, especially those I love and care about. Wait I am not done, I just need to eat before I space out.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because potatos are invading russia

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Why did I write this anti-joke? Because I am generally not that funny.

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Wow, so today is 9/11? Yes.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf a bread

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A convict escapes a prison he's been in for 15 years. He's soon tracked down by police and put back in jail where he'll serve another 2 years of jail time along with his 5 remaining years.

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus

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Whats worse than a dead baby in a puddle of blood? A dead baby in soup.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I am color blind

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Whats funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costum

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what would Michael jakson do if he was alive? scream and hit the top of his coffin

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What do you call a hickey on your shoulder? Bad aim -Cooper Simpson

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penus

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of a lake? Dead.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

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Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Biting into your dog and finding a worm.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? not having an apple to find a worm im

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Sex is not the answer. Sex is a question. Yes is the answer.

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A man walks into a bar with an ape. The ape defecates on the floor. The bartender ordered them both out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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