How to you confuse an Alzheimer's patient? Present her with a complicated nuclear physics problem.

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roses are blue violets, are orange, i am color blind

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What happened when a boy used the wrong punctuation and grammar, plus forgot how to spell the word know? i dont ;now!!!!!!!!!

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Me: Ask me if im a penguin friend: are you a penguin? me: no.

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^that joke a piece of shit

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Where did Susie go after the bombing? Everywhere

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Q) 1+1=? A) 6.

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What happened to the black man when he was eating a Tootsie Roll? He ate the entire thing but was still hungry due to the empty calories.

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What did the Homosexual say to the Southern American? I'm A Homosexual. What did the Southern American say back? I Respect That.

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hey bill!

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What do you do if a blond throw a grenade at you? Take the pin out and throw it back

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What is worse than running away from a rapist? Getting raped by a rapist.

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Good question, probably because I cannot get enough focus to "put a spell" on anyone because of my allergy, I use "autocast" for the rest. "Put a spell" I have not heard that since I was 14, that's really oldschool, and kinda geeky, back then it was code talk... Which is also geeky unless it actually serves a good purpose. AAAND... I served my mandatory time in the army as a minesweeper, we got attacked by fucking allies because of a... Yeah, I killed, people on our same team, still bad people, they offed about everybody else until I showed up, long story short, yeah I offed four of them, but that's like ten years ago.. My turn, you really got a crush on me dont you?

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When is a door not a door? Never. a door is always a door. it cannot be anything else.

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What did the child rapist say to the little boy? I'm going to rape you.

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Why did the man tell the other man to shut up? The other man said something that made the man who said shut up mad so he told the man to shut up.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A bleeding zebra.

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What did the Batman say to the Joker? "I am the Batman."

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How do you get a priest to cry? Stab him.

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Why couldn't the young pirate get in to the movie? Because he wasn't old enough.

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why is john so fat years of over eating

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What do you tell a Woman with black eyes? Nothing you've already told her twice.

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What is worse than a bunch of babies stapled to a tree? A bunch of trees stapled to a baby.

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What do you call a guy who died in a stampede? Grandpa.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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