- Anti Joke

What did the orphan get on his birthday? Cancer.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a dead moose, In my basement.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

Whats worse then getting caught watching porn? 9/11

Q: what did 7 say to 11? A: weres every one else?

OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruisin' about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, she is rolling around on the street laughing hysterically. He asks her, "Why are you laughing? I just beat the crap out of your car!!" She is laughing too hard to respond, but between giggles he can make out, "While you weren't looking I stepped out of the circle."

What did the greeter at walmart say to the black man? Welcome to walmart.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

Do you know your videogames? Test your might!: Getal Sear Molid = Metal Gear Solid. Do you get these though? Combatfrogs. Mechapoliceofficer vs The Enders. Outdoor battlers: Second encounter, speedy version. Above Average Luciano Siblings. Area of the Beginners (if you get this one u are epik!) Monkey D0ng (not so epik :P) G-one (pretty good if you get this one too) Lethal Fighting. (LETHAL FIGHTING!!!) Exploder Guy (kudos if you get it) Requirement for velocity (lol) Weeds vs the Frankensteins (decent) So how many did you get? Check the comment section for the answers.

What's gay, has ten eyes and is gay. One D. Kelvin Yang.

What time is it when an elephant sits on your watch? I don't know, I don't have a watch anymore.

What did the avocado say to the person? I can't talk

John Rustenburg at the dinner table

Whats brown and smells like poo?? Poo

What's the difference between a duck?

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Some men are blind.

a kid calls 911 and says ,"is this 911?" and the operator says ,"NO! THIS IS PATRICK!!!!!!"

What's stupid and a waste of time? Anti joke .com because people on here are too ignorant and serious cuz it's not funny. It's anti joke G-Dang it. Come on seriously

why was the man's arm bleeding? Because he just got shot in the arm...

How do you get an Irishman out of a bar? You politely ask him to leave.

WNBA

elliot forsythe is a paedo

Why did the deer die Because Jupiter is incapable of supporting life

Why did the gecko cross the road.... Because he saw great deals on car insurance!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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