What did the teacher say to the student? Get in the closet

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Why did the bus crash? Because the driver was a watermelon.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because it had no arms. Why did Little Timmy fall off of his bike? Because he was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator. Knock knock Who's there? Not Little Timmy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Although this is a highly improbable scenario, one would assume that, being a chicken, it did not have much of an intuitive idea as to what to do while it was stray for whatever reason in an urbanized area. Considering chickens do not harbor nearly as much of a mental capacity as it would require to even comprehend the concept of a "road" and is impervious to the idea of oncoming traffic and such, the fact that it happened to be crossing the road was in fact not even recognized by the chicken. For this reasons I deem this question unanswerable.

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What's Mary short for? She's got no legs.

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Male penises.

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what do you call anybody eating at mcdohnalds? hungry, diabetic people

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Why did the mexican jump when he heard police sirens? The sirens where very lound and abrupt. Therefore startling this mexican man.

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What can you never have for dinner? Breakfast and lunch

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Why did the boy have cable? I don't know.

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hey guys what's up?

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Your mama is so fat she has a high BMI and is at a high-risk of Type II Diabetes.

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When does George Harrison take a shit? In the morning

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Why is Skrillex bad at fishing? Lack of experience.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Why did the parrot fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Your mom is so fat, she is having angioplasty. She might need a ride a home.

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a person smokes weed... and gets high

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What did the virulent Homophobe do during the PRIDE national day of silence? He talked

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a man walked into a store got what he wanted and left.

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How do you get a nun pregnant? Screw her.

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If a plane crashes on the border of America and Canada, where do you bury the survivors? Somewhere discreet where no one will find them

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A: B: No pun intended.

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What do you call a person at your door? Whatever his name happens to be.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops