What did the the boy get from his grandma for Christmas. Nothing. she died a week ago.

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I get no respect at all. That's because I am a liar and a thief with no redeeming qualities.

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What did the cat say when you rub it's stomach? Nothing because felines don't have the needed vocal organs to speak, and probaly wouldn't know english do to the size of there brain.

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If a tree falls, and nobody is around to hear it, does it still make a sound? No. While the falling tree surely creates mechanical oscillations in the air, sound is defined as the mechanical oscillations in the air perceived by humans. Therefore, since no humans were around to hear the tree fall, it did not create a sound.

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Hey I had a wet and dirty dream about you last night. Really? What happened? You got hit by a bus and I pissed myself laughing. .......

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Q: What's the deal with air line food? A: An airline meal or in-flight meal is a meal served to passengers on board a commercial airliner. These meals are prepared by airline catering services. The first kitchens preparing meals in-flight were established by United Airlines in 1936. These meals vary widely in quality and quantity across different airline companies and classes of travel. They range from a simple beverage in short-haul economy class to a seven-course gourmet meal in long-haul first class.

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A Irish man walks our of a bar

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How do you drown a black man? You refuse to help him due to your pride and therefore you are no longer a decent member of society.

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A priest, a monk, and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order drinks and keep the conversation to non-controversial topics.

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What did the Man say to the elephant Nothing this man does not speak, the elephant does though

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What's black and white and red all over? A nun in a blender.

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Two dogs walk into a room. What a fine example of two dogs walking into a room.

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Your mom is such a slut, she had unprotected sex at least once.

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your mamas so fat all she gets for christmas and her birthday is girdles!

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Why did the deer die Because Jupiter is incapable of supporting life

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Why did the dog cross the road? He didn't, he got run over

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roses are red violets are blue count my five damn finger , and the third one is for you!!!!!!!!

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didnt have arms

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What's Black white and red all over? Half a penguin

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What is 9 + 10? 21

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What do you call an amazing, funny, beautiful, nice, goreous, stunning girl? Adena Gabrysiak <3

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If you can't read this, you should think about optical enhancement surgery. If you can, however, you just wasted 5 seconds of your life doing so.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

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How do you make time fly? Well! You cannot really make time fly. Imean, yeah, iguess it feels like time flies when your having fun, but it moves just as fast as always!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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