Whats the difference between a dead cat and a woman. The cat had a life.

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Q: whats worse than a Muslim? A: a Jew

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Why didn't the girl make the basketball team? She has no arms or legs.

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What do you call a dog that's having a stroke? An emergency animal hospital.

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What did the father say to his daughter? "I'm going to rape you."

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What's brown and sticky? Anal rape

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Why couldn't the cat drink the milk? Because it had no face

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b r o k e n k e y b o a r d ! ! p l e a s e h e l p ! ! ! ! !

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mom:why oh why are you such an idiotic nuisance? bobby:THATS HOW YOU WANTED ME BORN!!REMEMBER?you asked the doctor to put something in me to make me so stupid i wouldnt remember WHO gave birth to me!!

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs go for christmas? Cancer

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What's black and blue and red all over? The dead woman in the dumpster.

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My dog has no nose! Then how does he smell? Terrible!

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What's the difference between a cow and a purple sweater? They're both purple Besides the cow

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Your mama's so fat she can't have children.

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What's worse then finding a repeated joke on antijokes? Finding a real joke.

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Why didn't the boy get his sister a birthday present? Because it wasn't her birthday.

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How do you kill yourself You jump of a cliff

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What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? Toys -Lets Go MEts

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A very unskillful basketball team enters a basketball tournament. They had little chance of winning and concluded with a loss.

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Why did the womens basketball team beat the mens? the men were locked in a refrigerator

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this sentence will not monkey banana pie

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How do you make a model ugly? you shoot her in the face.

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A priest, rabbi, and mormon are arguing about which religion is best. A zookeeper hears and says, "I have a bear who is sleeping right now. How about whoever converts the bear belongs to the best religion?" The priest goes in first, and then walks out a few minutes later, unharmed. The mormon does the same, and he too exits unscathed. The rabbi goes in, and walks out covered in claw marks. "How'd it go?" Said the zookeeper. "Easy." Said the priest. "I just sprinkled some Holy water on him." "I did the same." Said the mormon. The rabbi looked at the zookeeper and said, "have you ever tried to circumcise a bear?"

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When I was a kid, I had a clown at my birthday party. He molested me. Later I found out the clown was my dad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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