How do you survive in the wilderness? You nail an orphan to a rock underwater.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was the woman's purse so heavy? Because it had a lot of stuff in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's worse than 1,000 babies stapled to 1,000 trees? 1001 babies stapled to 1001 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do video games and school have in common? Nothing, nobody likes school

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did Santa get for a young boy? A gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the young boy get for christmas? Parental divorce

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is hotter than two girls making out? The Sun.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is the biggest fictional book ever made? Either the Bible, or the Dictionary.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I like to eat people

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Excuse me, do you happen to have the time? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what do you get when you put a baby in a blender? salsa how to you get it out? tostitos

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I Love The Music Only Jazz and Blues.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the World Chicken Road Crossing Competition.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did nike say to addidas? Hi

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A Black man, a Mexican, and a Midget, get in a car. They drive to the county fair and get snow cones and have a really fun time.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what do you call a retarded kid? jack kamstra

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Two Jews walk into a bar, and they were both served properly

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man runs over a woman with his car, whose fault was it? The woman's for trying to cross the street in the dark without a crosswalk.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: What sucks? A: Straws

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Okay, So a Cow, a Lumberjack and a Fireman walk into a bar. The cow asks the bartender, "What kind of milk do you have?" The bartender looks confused and asks," Why would a cow want milk?" The cow replies,"I've been producing milk all my life and I've never had a chance to try it. I'd just like some milk." The bartender replies,"Okay we have whole milk, 2%, and skim milk. What'll you have?" The cow says,"Whole milk, I want the whole deal." The bartender obliges. Next the Lumberjack comes up to the bar. The bartender asks, "What'll you have?" The lumberjack asks for some syrup. The bartender inquiries,"What kind of syrup would you like?" The lumberjack answers,"Pure Maple, imitation, or chocolate. All work for me." The bartender turns and pours a shot of pure maple syrup and turns away. Finally the fireman walks up the the bartender and says, "Can I have a glass of water?" The bartender turn and ask inquisitively,"Why?" The fireman quickly replies,"TO PUT OUT THE FIRE!"...

thumb_up thumb_down -1

¿melano?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Me: Whats your favorite color? Joe: Blue! Me: Wrong

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's a zombie's favourite dessert? I don't know, but I'll give you 50 bucks to go and ask one.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops