-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Traveling Salesman.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's the diffrents beetween a carrot and a dead baby? One I like to eat in my soup, the other one s a carrot.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A bartender walks into a bar. It's his shift.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Guess what these words are: boo_s p_n_s _ _ ndom s_x fu_k wan_er Answers: books,pants,random,six,funk,wander.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

There once was a man from Nantucket, whose dick was so long he could provide women with more pleasure than the average male.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What does A duck smoke? Quack

thumb_up thumb_down +26

SURFIN' BIRD (Frazier - White - Harris - Wilson) THE TRASHMEN (GARRETT 4002, 1963) A-well-a everybody's heard about the bird B-b-b-bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, the bird is the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, well the bird is the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, well the bird is the word A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, well the bird is the word A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a don't you know about the bird? Well, everybody knows that the bird is the word! A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a... A-well-a everybody's heard about the bird Bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a don't you know about the bird? Well, everybody's talking about the bird! A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird... Surfin' bird Bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb... [retching noises]... aaah! Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa- Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Oom-oom-oom-oom-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-oom-oom-oom Oom-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-a-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, ooma-mow-mow Papa-oom-oom-oom-oom-ooma-mow-mow Oom-oom-oom-oom-ooma-mow-mow Ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, ooma-mow-mow Well don't you know about the bird? Well, everybody knows that the bird is the word! A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the snow flake which could talk say to the other snow flake which could talk None of us are the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What is the difference between a mustache, and a pile of dead babies? Mustaches disgust me.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

So a black man hails a taxi...

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are red Violets are blue im a retard dictionary

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you get when you read a book? More knowledge in your brain.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

a man walks into horse bar

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Silly Sally Dillydallied then lost her job to outsourcing.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what do you call a man that just got brutally murdered? i don't know, check his birth certificate.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John Wayne Gacy.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

hi my name is 50 cent my mom swallowd 2 quarters befor i was born dsthgiudghyudgfuawyg

thumb_up thumb_down +24

how did hitler fit 100 Jews in his car??? he couldn't, his car only fits 5 people.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock Knock Who's there? A Kid With ADD A Kid With AD- Oh Look! A Squirrel!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A blonde walks into a bar She said, agh that hurt

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock Knock Who's There? Just open the damn door I forgot my key and I really need to pee

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops