A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says Why the bloody face? The shark replies by saying my wife beat me with a stick. Considering that sharks cant talk, the bartender ends up going to the doctor to see if he may be dillousinal.

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Why did Sally not get her permission slip signed? Because her parents where murdered. Why did Sally not think to ask her grandparents? Because there in jail for killing her parents.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have a Gun Get in the Van

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game.

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what kind of panda eats leaves? the gray one :D

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Q. If you have $5, and a friend has $5, then how much money do you both have? A. You both have $5.

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Why can't helen keller skii? Because she's dead

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Knock Knock. Who the hells there? Nevermind.

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A man was drinking vodka at his friends party. He got a headache. He told his friend, and his friend said that there was asprin in the cabinet. The man ate some. He died. He was stabbed from behind, and the blade pierced his lungs.

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An blind orphan in an impoverished Irish village develops both AIDS and terminal cancer. You laughed a little at that. You are going to hell.

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Lil' Wayne

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What did the black man do when i shit in he's pant? Changed pants.

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A: Knock knock. B: <>

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Yo mama so fat, she most likely wont live to 40

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What happens when you combine a chainsaw and a baby? 30 years to life

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Roses are brown, violets are brown, who is s***ing in my garden?

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Yes, finally caught that mouse!

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What did the Shark say when he had no lunch? We have a FISHue!

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A guy walks into a bar with a sad and depressed look on his face. the bartender says why the long face. The depressed guys think "how bad of eye sight he has my face is the average diameter of about 20 cm long"

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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What did the man get when he found a genie in a lamp? The rest of his life in an asylum for schizophrenia.

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penis hehehehe

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What's the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have their Bar Mitzvah in Nazi Germany.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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