Wanted: A tall, well built woman with good reputation, who can cook Frog's legs, who appreciates a good Fuc- shia garden, classical music and tal- king with out getting too serious. Now read only lines 1,3, and 5

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Why didn't Peter get anything from his parents for Christmas? His parents have been dead for 5 years

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What do you give a small child when you don't have any candy? Nothing, you just kidnap them.

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? Big Red that eats rocks. -For Abel

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Q:"Wanna Here a Joke?" A:"Yea Sure" Q:"Why can't Stevie Wonder read?" A:"Umm....because he's blind?" Q:"No, because he's black."

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Whats 0+0 0

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Whats something thats red and swings A baby on a meat hook

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What did the banana say to the bear? Nothing, banana's can't talk.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 recently got out of prison for violent rape.

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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Why did the math teacher cry during 6th period? He was held at gunpoint.

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1+1=3 If you don't use a condom.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because he was dead.

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What's purple and eats rocks? Scientists are still looking into this question.

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What do you call a black man driving a police car? Officer

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Q: How much does a hipster weigh? A: It varies largely by hipster, the same way it does with any other person.

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Why did the archaeologist bury his brother? Because he was dead.

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a blond, brunette, and red head run away from cops and hide in potato sacks. the officer went up to the brunette and kicked the potato bag and the brunette went "woof" "woof". the officer went to the red head and kicked the potato bag and the red head went "meow" "meow". the officer goes to the blond and kicked the potato bag and the blond went "potato".

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Why did Billy get a 102% on his Algebra test? He got all of the questions correct including the bonus question. Oh, and he slept with the teacher.

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What do you call a person with no eyes? Blind.

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Why did the young boy say "Fuck"? He has Tourrete's

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What's the same between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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