What does spongebob do to get high. Nothing, spongebob doesnt exsist.

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So this guy tells me he hasn't had a bite in weeks. So i bought him lunch.

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Did you see that van with the word "Free Candy" painted on it? I'm also glad to see a successful entrepreneur capable of advertising free wares as an incentive to attract customers in such a recession. It's a great deal for both parties.

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The racist uncle went to attend his nieces bat-mitzvah. Although he is racist, he is smart enough to not speak his mind, for he is in a temple, and may offend many people at the service.

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What did the peanut butter say to the jelly?

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Person 1) Yo mama's so fat Person 2) My mother died in a horrible car accident last week

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A man walked into the white house and security escorted him out because he didn't have a pass.

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Why did the panda fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second panda fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first panda. Why did the third panda fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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Wanna hear a "Friday" parody? No, that would be copyright infringement.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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Knock knock! "It's unlocked"

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Once upon a time there was a little puppy. He then grew old and died.

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Why did the dog run away from home? His house burned down and his owners were killed.

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What type of movies do pirates watch? None they are on a boat!

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Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and smell

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What happend when Chuck Norris did a push up? He did one push up.

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Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

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A man walks into a bar, looks to the right and sees a man one foot tall playing the piano, he sits at the bar and says to the bar tender,"I'm feeling kind of down" the bar tender gives him a bottle of very strong alcohol and later that night he goes home and hangs himself.

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Knock, Knock! Who's there? Matt. Matt, who? You're friend Matt that you texted twenty minutes ago telling me to come over.

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Why did the man eat the apple? Because he was hungry.

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fart

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I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

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Do you want to hear a joke? Sure. Justin Bieber is straight.

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Why did the white man rub the black man's hair for good luck? Because it's good luck to rub a black man's hair.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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