Why is a cat in the desert like Christmas? Because Egypt is a country of deserts, the Egyptians had cats and Jesus, Mary and Joseph escaped to Egypt in the Christmas story before Herod carried out his massacre in Bethlehem on baby boys of under two years old.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying Cut its head off

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what happened when steven hawking's date stood him up? he feel down

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When did the ball-room finally close? Closing time.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

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DAVE : did you hear the one about the poster? MICHAEL: what?

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wat did one chicken say to the other bock bock

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Why was the black man pulled over on his way to KFC? Because he ran a red light.

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Snake: YES muahaha Eve eat the fruit from the three of wisdom muahahaha! Why do you not share with Adam? Muahahaha! Snake: Why is nothing happening? Then the sky opened and a heavenly voice spoke: "Well as long as none eats fruit from the three of KNOWLEDGE... Hmm, I better get rid of it altogether..." Snake: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

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What do a reindeer and a grape have in common? They are both purple, except for the reindeer.

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why didn't the chicken cross the road... because it got hit by a truck

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race-car = rac-ecar

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What would happen if hitler and winston Churchill was in a bar? The police will be called to take them away as there just laying there dead

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what did the maker of anti jokes website say while reading some of the jokes on here? these people r idiots. and he lived happily ever after. then died. Good one

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My favorite part of the movie Frozen is when the parents die.

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A nun walks into a bar. She is immediately excommunicated.

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How do you make something disappear from your hand? Throw it somewhere that's out of sight,

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Screwing in a lightbulb is a simple, menial task, and the fact that the man was a Jew is irrelevant.

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Ask me if I'm a watermelon. Are you a watermelon? No...

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Can Anti-Jokes censor curse-word tenses? Fuck Fucking Fucked Fucks

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Why cant the asian find his family? His eyes were too squinty

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You know what really grinds my gears? Insufficient lubricant.

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Why did I the granda fall out of her wheel chair?. She fell down the steps

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Your Adopted Deal With It!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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