Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

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When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, that's going to be some horrible lemonade if life doesn't also give you water and sugar.

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How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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Whats worse than Lindsey Lohans vagina? Nothing.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

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A black person goes up to the drive through at popeye's, what did they say? Nothing, it was closed.

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why did the chicken cross the road? who cares?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother. Please open the door. Your mother who? You were adopted.

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Doctor Doctor! I think im turning into a carrot! Thats a side effect of the drugs Alice, We've just had your test results back. I'm sorry Alice, You've got HIV.

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

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How many Japanese people does it take to make a whirlpool? - None, because they're all dead.

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rarw

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my egg roll

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WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

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Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

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Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? ... To get to the bottom.

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why did the little girl scream?She was afraid of clowns and hated small cars running around a tent at 6 o'clock at night

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Roses are red, but there are also pink, white and yellow varieties Violets aren't blue, they're violet, hence the name I've got OCD And my poetry skills are also lacking.

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Q: why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: He had no arms Q: Why couldn't he get up? A: He died when he hit the ground

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What did the hooker say to the black guy? How long do you want it for?

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What's Rupert bear's middle name? the

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Johnny fell out of the window. Except he didn't fall I pushed him

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Whats worse than getting a splinter? Taking a shower at penn state

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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