A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane where having a bet on who could swim the furthest without getting wet on their hair. The Swede could have done better... The Dane did surprisingly well. The Norwegian, being bald, was disqualified. Moral: I still have some hair left!

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What do you call the offspring of an elephant? A baby elephant.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause fuck you thats why

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How many blondes does it take to play a game of hide and seek? One ... ;)

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How did the black kid get in school? By taking the bus.

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What is funnier than 24 69

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Why couldn't the girl eat her pizza? She had no face.

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What do you say to a womam with two black eyes? Nothing, she's already been told twice.

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What did the 3 month old puppy get for Valentines day? Heart Worms. What'd he get for Christmas? Put down.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted tobe cool, But I look like you

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Some wild chickens have regular seasonal migration patterns that might require them to cross a road while traveling south. Wild chicken movements include those made in response to changes in food availability, habitat or weather.

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Why did the house stink? There were decomposing bodies under the floor boards.

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Why did the man Jump of a bridge? Because he got sick of his life and he wanted to die.

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If a tree falls in the forest, does anyone hear it? no, but it was home to several endangered species that are now extinct

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What do you call a tortilla from venezuela? A tortilla.

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cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar Was it you? No

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Q: If 2+2=Fish, then what does 3+3=? A: 6.

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a chinese man pays the full price

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Why did the chicken fall down? Because it wanted to have fun

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What was the blind man's favorite game? Marco Polo

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Two horses were in a field. One said "this is a good place to hide". The other said, "well, let's hope they don't Findus here!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops