I EAT YOUR SOUL. NOM NOM.

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Do you know what has always angered me about people not choosing to control their own lives Nero?

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your mom is so fat, she stepped on the scale and said, "I really need to eat better and I'm thinking about getting a gym membership." She did so, and she lost so much weight that all her friends congratulated her everywhere she went, and some didn't even recognize her.

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What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer..... Just Kidding! He got a bike!

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What will you never see? A white Guy that can jump.

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How often does the lesbian vampire group meet up? Never. Lesbians don't exist.

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What is the difference between your mom and a vacuum? The vacuum does not use your mom to clean the floor since it is an inanimate object and can not control people.

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Q: What do you call a dog with metal balls and two-inch legs? A: Animatronic

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how many jews can you fit into a car 5, two in the front three in the back

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:) Hey AMBY VALENT! Want to join our horsehead show below?? *Laughing track with that fat loud bitch that wont stop laughing making the actors stare at each other like douches* :/ Muuh, I dont really care im just some meh character anyway so yuh...' *Laughing track* ? ???? ORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORA! :( Hey get outta our show here you China man! *OOOH! Track plays with some fa*ott whistling* ? ???? | Baka! *leaves* *Awww track plays* *Laughing track*

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Why did the the dog not eat its food? Because the night before the dog had gotten serious disease and lost appetite

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What happened to the little boy that went to The Penn State locker room? He had a great day meeting the team and watching the football game.

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she is legally blind

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what do you call a black guy under water? A Scuba Diver

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Q: What's worse than not having a good relationship? A: Starving Africans

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A wise man once said, "I am wise".

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What do you call an obese kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? It's Doctor Green. I've got some bad news about your test results. Can I come in?

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What did the Catholic Priest say to the Altar Boy shortly after sex? Nothing. The feelings of shame and revulsion the priest felt about what he had just done meant he couldn't look him in the eye let alone talk to him.

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Why did Susie fall off the swingset? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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What hurts more than a papercut? A chainsaw between your legs.

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Roses are red Violets are blue and oranges are orange nothing rhymes with orange

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What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

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Person: hey buddy have you heard the greteat news Freind: yea you have aids Person: no my wife jusr became a pristatue an she had ten patients already i was her first

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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