Whats slower than molasses? A dead baby.

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Why did the woman call 911? Fire.

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What's black and white and red all over? A blood-soaked zebra

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Why did Sally dance and record it on Vine? She did it for the Vine

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There once was a boy walking down the street. He got shot in the head. He died.

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asians have slitted eyes lol

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Man: Excuse me sir, is this where I turn in my library book? Farmer: You must be really lost, this is a farm.

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What did the loser say to the winner? Good game

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Y R U A B? I don't know why I am a bee.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? An opera singer singing in the shower

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Q: What's the meaning of life? A: A bush, have you ever been dragged through one? It hurts.

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A girl and her friend got into a fight. They both bled to death.

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i look around to find that my air head is missing, i then figure out that i had eaten it.

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Why don’t stores sell mouse-flavored cat food? It’s a matter of marketing; tuna, chicken and liver flavors sound much more palatable to the humans buying the pet food.

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What did the carrot say to the apple? Sandals

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How do you scare a black man? You dont

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what did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? "Grggglgluglguggarglegerrrllggglge"

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What's the worst thing about that Black Jew at the Bus Stop? He's taking a bus to go to his mother's funeral.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because death was certain if it didn't.

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Why is Obama Care a lie? Cuz he doesn't care!

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Why did the room go dark? Somebody turned the lights off

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what do you do when see a young girl crying on the swingset? ask her kindly to move, as you would like a turn

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roses are red violets are blue i have 5 fingers the middle ones for you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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