What has four legs and rocks? Your baby kitten that just got stoned to death.

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What does a blonde say when she wants to order a large pizza ? "Hi, I would like a large pizza, please."

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She had no arms.

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How many electricians does it take to screw on a light bulb? 1

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Your momma is so dumb that her IQ is 3 standard deviations below that of an average person.

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whats red and green and has 8 wheels. a stick

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A black man is escorted into a prison. He's the new warden, and he's been shown to his office.

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The Princess is in another castle

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What do you call a dead blond in a coset? Last years hide and seek winner.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? Because she had no legs.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Cindy Cindy who? No it's Cindy Lou Who!

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did you know helen keller had a swingset? neither did she

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What do you call a blond reading a book? A blond reading a book.

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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What do you call a German who roasts Jews for a living? A comedian.

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What's the best way to anger a Muslim? Key his car in front of him.

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he was about to be shot for attempting to assassinate the president.

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Knock Knock. GO AWAY!

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Last words of a redneck - "Hold my beer and watch this"

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2 blondes were heading to Disney world, they saw up ahead that said "Disney World left" then took a left and enjoyed Disney World and had fun on the rides

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She likes her sex like she likes her penises. Without a woman.

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q: what do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex? a: sex, just like everyome else calls it

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They didn't stop pulling my hair i didn't stop pulling the trigger

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A: Where does a cow go on the weekends? B: To the mooooovies? A: No, to the slaughterhouse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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