What did the red fish say to the blue fish? Nothing fish can't talk.

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Roses are red,violets are blue,hit me once I will break you to Roses are red,violets are blue,I will kick your ass, as hard as to

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A man walks into a bar. He says ouch.

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What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A unicorn

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What did the boy say after he got hit by a bus? Nothing. He's dead.

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ha ha, I can talk and you can't.

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Your mam is so fat.

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Q. What's worst than getting kicked in the balls ? A. The holacaust

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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How many immature teenagers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Your Mum.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like pussy Because it feels really good when I stick my penis inside her vaginal opening

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I said no! Its not funny... Maybe a little but stop it, I am having trouble enough finding out which comments are mine as it is.

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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What did one duck say to the other duck? Quack.

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whate white and cant climb trees? powdered sugar

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Why didn't the condemned man seek a reprieve of his execution? He forgot.

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Why doesnt Squidward wear pants? Because he likes to hang loose

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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salad days!

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A co-pilot

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Q: Where do zombies shop? A: Zombercrombie.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? eating the worm causing it to breed inside of your body later causing them to eat you internally

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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Knock knock! Who's there? A doorbell-salesman

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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