Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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Why'd the bird in Ohio fall out of its nest? There was a squirrel that was eaten by a large eagle. The eagle then flew to Ohio and died. Then, a large dog grabbed the Eagles corpse and brought it to his owner. The owner then decided to have it for dinner. Inside the eagle, he found the squirrels bones. He put the bones in a catapult, and sent them flying. The bones hit a car and the car slipped off the road and into a river. Then, a whale put the car on its back and swam to the shore. At the shore, the whale got stranded and sadly died. Crabs surrounded the whale and ate it. One crab then ran away and up a tree. It found a stapler and a rubber dinosaur mask and gave it to a chipmunk. The chipmunk climbed up the tree, stapled nuts into the birds eyes and stapled the rubber dinosaur mask to its face, the bird got scared, and then all of the sudden the chipmunk stapled itself to the birds back. The birds family then came and shoved the two out of the tree because they hated chipmunks, and their son Timmy the bird was a disappointment. The bird and the chipmunk fell and died. That is why the bird fell.

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Hold on, please hold on! I will explain, it is my name, but I don't know whats so wrong with it at all... Please give me five minutes, I need to use the bathroom, please don't go just yet, don't be mad at me, what have I done wrong now? I mean if you are gonna go to sleep or something please do not be upset with me.

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http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/resources/2008/04/Deer_mating2.jpg

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There was an american man on the way to work.

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Why didnt the teenager have a smartphone? He didnt live close to a cell phone store

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Writing is hard Poems are strong I am muslim And this is a bomb.

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Why do cats have eyes? So they can see.

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? He was hit by a truck.

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what did steven hawking say to the prostitute? Nothing, he is unable to speak, he needs help from his word speaker thing.

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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What has a bomb straped to itself and has wheels? Me. I lied about the wheels.

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What's brown and smells like poo? Poo.

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how do you make jimmy happy you cant he's in a coma

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my grandpa told me "dont let fear rule your life" 2 hours later he got hit by a train.

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Q:Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? A: Because he got hit by a bus.

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how did the fat man survive the plane crash? he didn't, he died like everyone else.

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"Knock knock." "Come in."

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Whats white and black and red all over? A panda that has just been shot by a poacher.

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Your momma is so ugly that when she stepped on the mirror, it broke.

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Why was a black person on the run, being trailed by police officers? They were all late to work; their work places were coincidentally situated near each other.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who is there? Not Suzie

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the awkward moment when a fat person says they are fat

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A: Did you know Helen Keller had a treehouse? B: No. A: Neither did she.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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