How do you get 100 Jews into a Volkswagon? You don't. It's impossible to fit that many people into a car that small.

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How many black people does it take to solve a complex physics equation? Trick question

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Why was Jenny alone? Everyone else had died in a zombie apocalypse.

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What's long and black? A 12 inch black dick.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A.Because that's where it wanted to go.

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what was so bad about hitler? he inadvertently subjected his political officials to death by rope

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The good part of "Age" of Ultron? THANOS REIGNS! Disagree? Just leave the green thumb and fuck off!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother.

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XD, I know I noticed myself, I was like "why the fuck did I post that shit?" Rellez XD okay sistah, I think I am just gonna get some sleep now, but Nero, is not Justin Bibble the first one?

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Knock knock Who's there? Dishes Dishes who? Dishes a bad joke

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What did the Ginger get for his birthday? A soul...................................……................……………•

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A blond and his wife were in the hospital expecting their first child together. The wife gives birth to twins and the husband turns to her and says, "I can't believe we had twins. I'm so happy!"

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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Q. What did the toothbrush say to the toothpaste A. Nothing you idiot there inanimate objects they can't talk

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GOODBYE

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What happens when you mix bleach and ammonia? You eventually die of respiratory failure from inhaling chlorine gas and possibly an exploding toilet.

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A brunette, redhead, and a blond were on a road trip when their car broke down in the middle of a desert. The red-head offered to walk down the road to get help, for none of them knew how to repair the car. She walked down the road in the direction they were headed, but never came back. The redhead and blond died several days later in the shade of the car as a result of extensive heat exhaustion.

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Do I know any jokes about sodium hypobromite? As a matter of fact, I do. It goes: "Do I know any jokes about sodium hypobromite? NaBrO."

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Why did Kristi drop her chap-stick? Kristi was of the many children held in hostage of the Jewish heritage during the times of Hitler's wrath. At the Concentration camps they were not given the opportunity to maintain a healthy, average diet thus decreasing her body strength. No longer could Kristi hold her chap-stick - alas her frail little fingers slowly released the cylinder shaped tube and hopelessly watched it hit the ground. As it hit the ground, a cloud of dust swept over Kristi's body. At the same time Kristi was taking a big whiff of fresh air (just kidding, the air at concentration camps were not fresh - it reeked of acid) she accidentally inhaled the dirt which fled through her body and made her faint. She woke up and it was a dream, lol.

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What happens when you cut a body in half? An erection.

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What did the fridge say to the watermelon? Nothing.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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Why does Suzie like to wear sunglasses? Because she's blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops