Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was blind.

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One afternoon, a man walks into a bar, looking sad and purchases a large drink. "Bad day?" the bartender asks, "I just found out my youngest son is gay." the man replies. "Wow that's bad buddy, I'll buy you the drink, on the house." Two weeks later, the same man walks into a bar, looking sad and purchases a large drink. "Bad day?" the bartender asks, "I just found out my second son is gay." the man replies. "Wow that's bad buddy, I'll buy you the drink, on the house." Two weeks later, the same man walks into a bar, looking sad and purchases a large drink. "Bad day?" the bartender asks, "I just found out my oldest son is gay." the man replies. "Doesn't anyone in your family like women?." the bartender asks. The man thinks about it. "Yeah, my wife."

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In what way are a pile of deceased children and a Ferrari F430 similar? Neither can be found in my garage, nor anywhere under my possession. As for the Ferrari, this is an unfortunate truth. Due to Ferraris' high level of desirability, and to their low supply, the cost of one such car is much more than an average person can afford. As for the pile of deceased children, anyone in possesion (for lack of a better term, as one can not truly possess another human being, even post mortem) of such a grotesque thing is probably too sick and twisted to be submitting jokes with no apparent climax in hopes of stimulating the minds of the joke's readers sense of humor.

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What did the rabbit buy the Jewish duck for Hanukkah? Nothing, animals don't celebrate holidays.

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How can you tell if a woman is stupid? Yell the word "STUPID'' and see if she turns around.

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Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

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Listen Nero, you consider us like friends too right?

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How did the marines cross the minefield safely at night? Under a full moon

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Why did the black man get fired? In this economy businesses are downsizing and outsourcing jobs for cheaper labor.

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what did the bull say when it got shot? nothing... its a bull

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Have you seen stevie wonders new house No Neither has he

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What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming? "Here come the elephants!"

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why was the stone green? I dont know thats why im asking -_-

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Pigachu is a Porkemon.

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Why did the poorly educated man get fired from the M&M factory? He changed the M's to W's!

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ROMEO ROMEO WHEREFORE ART THOU ROMEO

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What would happen if the whole world farted at once?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. At what point would a chicken consciously know it was crossing a road.

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What looks like a rainbow but isn't seen in the sky? A drawing of a rainbow

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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I do not want to know, you want to TELL ME so that I can increase the potency of the hypnotic suggestion by... Lets say... A number that if I said would work instantly? I wrote CONDOMS ARE FOR PUZZIES... Which kinda makes sense... Just a line, from the worst game ever.

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Why was the boy with no arms and legs crying? He had a lit match in his anus.

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teacher:humpty dumpty sat on a wall.... me: wait, why was he up there ms.park? teacher: well hes never been the same since vietnam, his wife divorced him and now hes a raging alcoholic.

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What did the farmer say to the survivor of the plane crash that just crashed on his land? "Need a band-aid?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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