what did the tree say to the person? nothing trees cant talk

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What did the man in the mirror say to the other man The Same F****** Thing!!

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Whats red and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket Whats blue and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket disguised as a blue bucket

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Chuck Norris doesnt eat honey, hes allergic to it.

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Did u know that 10/10 people die?

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I said no! Its not funny... Maybe a little but stop it, I am having trouble enough finding out which comments are mine as it is.

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Nero, I have 30 million dollars left, lets split them and leave ground zero behind us, I know it would make me happy to share them with you.

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Whats the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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Q: Why was the cook put in jail. A: He has killed 2 people and robbed several stores

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Why is red? He was just murmured by a phycopath.

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Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window... ...But I am the Goddamn locksmith!

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Yo' mama's so black the dark couldn't even see her.

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Q: Why did the man have sex with Amanda Seyfried? A: Are you kidding me?

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why couldn't the girl sit down? she didn't have a butt.

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So a horse walks into a barn.

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Some parents named their sons: Who, What and Where. Many people were left confused as to the couple's decision, and some remarked that the sons would likely get picked on in their early school years.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie!

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How do you eat an Elephant? Elephant meat is most palatable after roasting in a 450 degree oven for 2 hours. Garnish with carrots and broccoli.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's dad owned a shot gun.

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What did one traffic light say to the other? Nothing, as traffic lights are incapable of thought as they are not living.

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Knock knock! Who's there? A doorbell-salesman

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A man walks into a bar. He hasn't been there before, and it's a Friday so it's really crowded, and it's really quite a dive, so he and his girlfriend decide to leave and find somewhere else to eat.

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I was not scared, I was disappointed, I was expecting to see you for you, not the whole strange outfit getup, what was the point of that? I know the deal about hypnosis and stuff, did you know it is actually known as monoideoism? But I really cant figure for the life of me how it is physically possible to be under a deep state of trance and completely awake at the same time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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