why would a man mistake a watermelon for AK-47? i dont know. The man probably has mental issues.

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Why did Lisa fall of the swing? Cause she had no arms... A: Knock Knock B: Whos there? A: Definitely not Lisa....

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whats the difference between kroush and a bucket of shit? the bucket

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Women's rights.

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a charmander decided to take a swim a.w. j.p.

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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what unique about 3 red signs and 1 blue sign right next to eachother? there all the same colors!!!!except for the blue sign.

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What do you call a Welshman with a stick up his arse? A very odd man

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there were three men in a car, Poop, Shut Up, and Manners. They were driving in a truck when poop fell out of the car. Manners went to get him. Shut Up parked somewhere that he wasn't supposed to so the police man came to him. He asked him what his name was and he said "Shut Up" because that was his name. The police man said "Where are your manners?" then Shut Up said,"He went to go scoop up poop".

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How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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Whats brown, sweet, and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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roses are red, violets are blue. you've got Alzheimer's, it sucks to be you

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What's worse than a guy staring at you? Two guys staring at you.

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What did the homeless man buy with a dollar? Nothing. He didn't have a dollar.

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Why did Elsa go into hiding. She died

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big fat hairy gigantic enourmous erectionn CC

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whats cold, blue and hard? a frozen blueberry.

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You know what is totally sick? A person with stage II cancer.

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What do you call two black people on one bike? Unsafe. Regular bicycles are typically not suited for use by two people at once, black or otherwise. Riding on the handlebars is dangerous and can lead to serious injury.

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What’s the best part about knowing things no one else does? Nothing. I’m schizophrenic and can’t afford medication.

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A muslim gets on an airplane and takes his seat. The plane lands safely and he enjoys his vacation in Florida.

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There's two muffins in an oven, the first muffin says "Woah, it's really hot in here!". The second muffin says "Oh my God! A talking muffin!"

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I dyed my armpit hair blue yesterday because I wanted to start a new trend. My boyfriend later broke up with me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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