Q. What happened to the girl who locked her keys in her car? A. I raped her.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

i like turtles

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did Sally drop her ice cream cone? Because she had no arms. Knock, Knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

a black man, a jew, a mexican and an irish man walked into a bar and the bartender says: This is joke right??

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why am I telling you this joke? Because I entered the following, agreed to the Terms of Service, and clicked "submit".

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A ginger kid, a blonde kid and a brunette jump off a 50 foot building... All of them die apart from all of them because luckily there was a swimming pool at the bottom

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas?? - Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a black man and an Asian working in a field? You politely ask their names and then use them; their colour is of no consequence.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Try not to laugh at this joke... Knock knock Who's there? Ha ha ha Ha ha ha who? I told you not to laugh

thumb_up thumb_down -1

My wife came up to me and said, "I want you to make me scream with 2 fingers!" So I poked her in the eyes!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: what smells like cheese and tastes like cheese? A: cheese

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the garbage man cross the road? He was doing his job.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did Jerry Sandusky appeal his conviction? Because the judge wrongly considered inadmissible evidence.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? Let's go play on our bikes.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a light bulb??? I don't know don't ask me when I'm asking you the question!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man noticed that the sun was coming in brightly through his window. He was trying to take a nap and didnt appreciate the sunlight. He closed the blinds.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you stop a bus? You press the brake pedal, causing the brake pads to squeeze the tires. Which will slow the momentum of the bus to the point of stopping.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's brown and rhymes with snoop ? Dr Dre.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

There once was a beautiful princess named Snow White who lived with seven dwarves in the forest. One day, and old hag approached her and offered her an apple. She bit into the apple, chewed, and said,"Wow, that's tasty. Is this a Golden Delicious?" The hag said, "Why yes, it is. I have a private orchard. Perhaps I'll let you see it some time." The two promptly resumed their lives.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are blue Violets are red Sugar are you And so is sweet

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops