A man walks into a coffee shop and buys a bookshelf.

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Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... The FedEx man leaves, realizing that no one was home, and continues on with his job.

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How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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Whats worse than finding out one of your grandparents died, finding out both your grandparents died.

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knock knock who's there? to to who? to whom*

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wanna hear a joke? yes

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what has 4 legs three eyes and a horn? a:yo mama

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Q: What do you call 10 babies at the bottom of the ocean? A: Dead

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What did the douche bag get for Christmas? Your girlfriend.

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why did the chicken cross the road? I dunno ask the chicken

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Two black guys were walking down a street to meet up a local drug dealer. Turns out the black guys were undercover cops who arrested the drug dealer and both recieved awards for finding the criminal.

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Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Jews are human beings. Pizza is a type of food.

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Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay the manufacturers suggested retail price.

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Hi im a joke i eat turtles

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What do you call an old man who took too much viagra? And ambulance, because he could possibly get a heart attack from the fluctuations in blood pressure

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

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What's the best way to win a race? Run faster than all other participants.

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Knock Knock! Who’s there? Alligator! I'm positively sure that Alligators are unable to talk, now please tell me who this is before I call the police.

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why was the boy sad because he had a cat stapled to his face

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Hi i love black men so much and i am a jewish faggot bye

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What's a dead baby look like? I don't know, I don't fap with my eyes open.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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