Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is round and bad-tempered? A vicious circle

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A British man walks into a dentist's office.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I asked god for a bike but i know he doesn't work like that so i stole a bike and asked him for forgiveness

thumb_up thumb_down +6

i killed a blind guy when he wasnt looking

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the baby die? Because I refused to feed it.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +6

So the priest took the 6 year old boy into the confessional...and He told him to say 3 Hail Mary's.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man wakes up after only one hour of sleep due to his insomnia. He starts to cry because his wife just passed away and his parents were recently killed in a car accident. The man gathers his composure, takes a shower, and drives to his minimum wage job. He was expelled from high school for an assault he didnt even commit and has no money to get an education. At work, he accidentally drops a box of valuable, fragile electronic parts and gets fired by his boss. He goes home to his dirty 1 bedroom apartment and contemplates suicide. He decides to wait as his favorite tv show is on. He turns on the tv to the news his show has been cancelled. The man, depressed, suicidal and alone, picks up his .22 and kills himself. There is no God.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Person 1. Knock-knock. Person 2. Who's there? Person 1. The doctor. Person 2. The doct-- Person 1. You have cancer and have about three weeks to live.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What happened to the Jewish child that used to live life like a normal kid? Him and his family were taken to a ditch and shot to death. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Ask me if i'm a tree. Q: Are you a tree? A: No.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

If you pull a pin out of a grenade, is it possible to put it back? I need a quick answer for this question.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because She's Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

"what did the priest say to the rabbi?" "what" "my religions better

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why shouldn't you ask Lebron James for change for a dollar? Because in the year 2013 Lebron will tear his ACL and will never able to play the game again. He then won't be able to land a job because he never finished college. After being unable to land a job, he then develops an expensive crack edition. His house gets foreclosed, and he becomes broke. And then does not even have four quarters to his name.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Santa isn't real

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A horse walks into a butcher shop and asks for two apple pies. The butcher says "sorry, but we don't have apple pies. It's a butcher shop." And the horse says "nevermind, I came here on my bike."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What happens when your dog is bad? A crying dog who has to sleep in the BACKYARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid dog....

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Yo mama is so hairy she should probably start shaving.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at poems, nice tits.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A guy named John wanted to finish his life. Now he is dead

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats worse than getting a splinter? Taking a shower at penn state

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops