why did the dog chase the cat? because the cat chased the dog first.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being molested by a giant octopus.

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What has got 56 eyes, 1 leg and 3 arms ? I don't know but that's right behind you.

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What do you call a Ku Klux Klan member who has been set on fire? Burnt Marshmallow.

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A girl walks into a bar and the bartender says, "why is your face so tan?" And she replies "I just got back from the beach."

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A tall German man and a short Ukrainian woman walk into a pub and sit down for a drink. The German, not wanting to seem rude, asks the Ukrainian how her day has been. The Ukrainian smiles confusedly as she doesn't understand German.

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Write Your Own Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side Enter the following: Which is bigger the moon or the elephant? Your Answer: The elephant [] I have read and agree to the Terms of Service ((((Submit)))) [1 error prohibited this post from being saved] ---There were problems with the following field -> Wrong answer

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Whats big, grey, and cant climb trees? A carpark

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. sama bin laden, is coming for you.

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Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

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What do you call a kid with down syndrome and no arms? Whatever his name is.

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How do you kill a beetle? Wait outside his apartment and shoot him

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? People leading healthy, active lives physically and socially.

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A man jumped off a bridge. He went bungee jumping with his family and had a great time.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She didnt have any arms

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-Why was little Johnny sad? >Why? -Because he had a frog stapled to his forehead.

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Bläeghen-Fassybìll-No?cheb!

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knock knock come in

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If X = 3 and Y = 7, what is X + Y = ? It doesn't matter. You forgot to put your name on the test which means you got an automatic fail.

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What did the sun say to the moon ?? Nothing - they can't speak

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Knock knock. Who's there? Stop fucking around I told you I was coming. I'm sorry. Come in.

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Q: Who was the best Jewish cook? A: Hitler.

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What did the Chicken say to the Interviewer Interviewer: how do you feel about your eggs chicken: the eggs are actually my periods. Interviewer: how do you feel about your periods ChicKen: you eat my periods everyday. people make cakes, omlettes and all these food out of my period. Imagine the world running on your period. Interviewer: what are your feelings on your periods Chicken: I have a mixture of feelings. i feel really scared because the farmers would kill me if i can have my periods. i feel glorified because the world runs on my eggs and i feel proud. I feel freaked out because the world actualy runs on my periods

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops