Wanna hear a dirty joke? A guy in mud.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why Was the straight man in love ? because he was an intelligent human being who had the formula of understanding woman .

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is blue and has blue shoes? A blue shoe box

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

My grandmother's zodiac sign was cancer, and she was killed by a giant crab.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What happens when there is a jew next to you and you are standing on a train track? A train hits you both and you both die.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Roses are potatoes Violets are potatoes I like potatoes Potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the walrus say to the Penguin. It said MAHHRGH. because walruses can't really talk

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is small, slimy, and thrown in the garbage? A stillborn

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a man with no arms? Richard, as that is his name.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Try typing in any three letters in Google images and you will always see something inappropriate. Posted by: BerserkSpoon

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's the difference between a lamp?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why cant Helen Keller drive? ......because women cant drive(:

thumb_up thumb_down +18

whats better than a girl getting hit by a car? a girl getting hit by a car with my dick in her

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats worse than the death of a celebrity? An anonymous person posting a joke on this site.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you get when you cross 3 men and a chainsaw? Answer: 2 and a half men

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did Hitler kill himself He saw his gas bill

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man and a cucumber walk into a bar. They sit three seats away from each other and intermediately give nervous looks to one another. Finally the man stands up and declares "I hate bar jokes" and walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock Knock whos there? brad are you thomas brad are you thomas who? for goodness are you a parot or something

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Find a half-worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the Catholic Priest say to the Altar Boy shortly after sex? Nothing. The feelings of shame and revulsion the priest felt about what he had just done meant he couldn't look him in the eye let alone talk to him.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why aren't there any black flesh-colored bandages? Good question.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops