Why was the butcher bald? He was undergoing intensive chemotherapy.

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How many unicorns does it take to change a lightbulb? Unicorns do not use lightbulbs, their technology (magic) is way too advanced to waste fossil fuels and pollute the air. Also, you can't change a lightbulb with hooves. ;)

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they're dead. idiot.

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Two guys jump off a cliff... the third guy calls an ambulance.

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus? Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of african decent to sit in towards the front of a bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of european decent.

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A black man and a Mexican man are both in a car. Who's driving? The white man who is also in the car with them.

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why were maddie and maddy and rachel and jill all friends? we all enjoy pizza

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What's one thing that bothers EVERYONE? Mother Theresa

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Knock Knock Who's there? The holocaust

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A Cheerio is at Cheerio high school, and there is another Cheerio that he wants to ask to the prom, but she is a frosted Cheerio and because of Cheerio social statuses she would not go with him. So he goes to the Cheerio factory so he can become a frosted Cheerio. The factory workers tell him that he can be a frosted Cheerio, but the machines are malfunctioning today and they can only frost half of him. He agrees, and the girl Cheerio goes to the prom with him. He shows up at the prom with her, and she asks him to get her some punch. So, he's walking around, looking for the punch line, when he realizes: There isn't any.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 17

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I went to the bookstore to buy me a Where's Waldo book. I looked through the store and couldn't find it anywhere.... Well played waldo, well played.

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knock, knock Who's there? A social worker, we are taking your children into costody because your wife has reported you to the police for molesting them.

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Your mom showed up at my house last night. I kindly greeted her and asked if I could help her with anything.

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What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck!

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What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm. Being raped. What's worse than being raped. Being raped twice. What's worse than being raped twice. Biting into your apple and finding a worm then throwing away that apple, retrieving another apple them biting into it and finding another worm then being raped twice. In the same 5 minutes.

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How much wood could a Woodchuck chuck if a Woodchuck could chuck wood? The etymology of the name woodchuck is unrelated to wood or chucking

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Q: What's worse than one dead baby at the bottom of a trash can? A: One dead baby in ten trash cans.

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In other news, a Florida man was arrested today for stealing candy...with a knife.

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There are fewer coppers on sundays. As well as criminality.

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What do you call a chicken? You say bawk bawk bawk bawk cockadoodledoo

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5 Jewish men walk into a bar and are expected to be treated nicely

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How did the Jew survive the holocaust? He didn't, he died.

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What do you call a black man that works in a church A priest

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops