How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck CAN chuck wood, that's why his a wood chuck.

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Q: How many cows does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Infinite, cows do not have thumbs, in fact, they have hooves. This disables them from holding any large objects without the use of their mouthes.

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Oh my god, I'm on fire! Help me, help me, oh God it's everywhere!

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Q: What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A: A pharmacist

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Arsonist: Hey, did you listen my mixtape? It's really FIRE.

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Q:why did the girl fall off the swing set? A:she had no arms

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Why did the plane crashed? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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my names jim haha

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Why didn't Hellen Keller just wear glasses? Oh wait

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I heard the new Batman movie was to die for

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Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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What do you pull when it's hailing. Your favorite electronic.

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Whats red and is bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a cheetah? Don't do that, I'm pretty sure it's illegal for several reasons.

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Did you hear the one about the kinky dominatrix? No. Damn. I really wanted the details.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where is my tractor?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

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What's the diffrence between a pizza and a black man. One is human being while the other is an inanimate food source.

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3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

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Two men walk into a bar, the third man ducks.

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A man and a talking elephant in a waist coat go to a party. The party is actually an intervention for the man because he's on drugs and is ruing his life. The elephant is not real.

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Why are elephants big, grey and wrinkled? Beacause if they where small, white and smooth, they would be an aspirin!!!

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i came... i saw... -myself when i came.

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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