What did the down syndrome kid get for christmas? Pulmonary Embolisms.

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Q: What did the newborn dumpster baby say to the raccoon? A: Nothing. Newborn babies cannot talk.

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what has wheels and runs on gas? a car with feet

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Perverted man: Nice bum where u from Hot ladie with the nice bum: Boston Mass so kiss my ASS

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knock knock... ....... no one replies.. the family is deff..

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven kind of looked like an alligator.

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a little boy goes down stairs on xmas day he has three presents the first one was a pair of socks the second one was a football and the third one was shin pads the boy was now crying really loud santa is outside laughing why? the boy has no legs

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why did the kid burst into flames cause he lit himself on fire

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What did the apple say to the other apple? Nothing, apples are fruits and cannot talk

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An slutty attractive secretary went into her boss' office He killed her.

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test test

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what's longer than my shlong? .... nothing

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Why did the batmobile lose a wheel? Because the Joker was raping Robin too hard!

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im saul and i love cock

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Okay, this is a real joke: A guy slips on a banana and falls down in the most funny way ever, so a girl nearby starts laughing when she suddenly realizes the guy is bleeding profoundly, so she runs over to help, but it turns out the blood was just ketchup so... Just then they both got run over and killed by a car.

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What do u call Lindsay Lohan fall from grace? Probably likely tragic and is also a very useful metaphor for The USA's projected path for global and economic superiority.

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Bird is the Word. Actually 'What" is the word.

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What do you call a chair in the middle of the road? A danger to drivers.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple? The Color Wheel.

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Why is it irrelevant whether someone is a twat or not? Love your neighbour.

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how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

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Knock knock.

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Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He has insomnia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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